


Don't Ever Let Him Go

by phansuniteinluv



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boyfriends, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Phil Lester - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21925459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phansuniteinluv/pseuds/phansuniteinluv
Summary: As Phil is sorting through papers, he finds an old letter he wrote himself.  It makes him feel young again and he can't help but show Dan.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	Don't Ever Let Him Go

It had been too long since Phil had sorted through his papers. They were all piling up, making a huge mess inside his closet. Now, Phil was sat down, a cup of hot coffee sitting dangerously close to his knee, while he listened to Dan’s Spotify. With an agonizing breath, he started organizing. It was never much fun, especially when all he wanted to do was be with Dan, but he wanted to get all of this done before any family visited for the holidays. Especially if someone, most likely his mum, was going to stay in this room.

After almost an hour, Phil had sorted through a mixture of random pages… English work from Uni, old contracts, and some fan mail, before one particular note caught his eye. It was a seemingly regular piece of paper, though it seemed to have been crumpled up and smoothed out multiple times before being saved and thrown into this pile.

He read it quickly, over and over again, before smiling widely, wanting nothing more than to share this with Dan.

_Dear Phil of 2018,_

_Don’t EVER let him go._

_From_

_Phil of 2010_

It was such a small thing. Something simple, yet so meaningful. He felt his eyes tear up a bit, not having much memory of writing this, but knowing what they were going through at the time. Dan was struggling, as he was still in the closet, always lying to himself and others about his sexuality. It caused a lot of problems with him and Phil. There were ups and downs. Times when Dan wanted nothing to do with him, and others, when all Dan wanted, was to be snuggled up next to Phil and to kiss him. Dan was really just afraid, and Phil knew that, but he still felt such a huge impact knowing that even when they were having problems, Phil knew he wanted to keep him. They depended on each other… Needed each other. When he felt like he was losing what he loved most, he knew he needed to fight to keep him. He _needed_ Dan. And Dan needed him.

“I won’t…”

He whispered to himself, hugging the note close, not knowing what to do. Should he show Dan? Or would that be stupid? Phil quickly brushed off any worries and stood up from his spot in the closet to walk the note out to the living room. He wanted to remind Dan how much he meant to him. Phil wanted his boyfriend to know that ever since they met, he was instantly in love. The more he was with Dan, the more in love he fell. It was like a drug, and he was addicted.

As Phil made his way out to the living room, he noticed Dan sitting on the couch, scrolling through Tumblr as he always does. He smiled as he walked over and plopped himself down on the sofa. He lied vertically so he could put his head in Dan’s lap. 

“Hey, babe.”

Phil giggled, feeling his boyfriend’s hands move from the laptop to his hair. Dan looked down at Phil, admiration gleaming in his eyes. Phil took a few moments to admire Dan’s face. The wrinkles forming around his eyes when he smiled, his adorable dimples, and the few freckles you could only see when you looked really hard. Everything about it was perfect. 

Finally, Phil gave in and thrust the wrinkled and aged letter into Dan’s hands.

“Read this.”

He sat up, placing his head on Dan’s shoulder now, reading the note with him. Once Dan finished reading, he giggled a little and shifted again to look over, feeling like he was eighteen again.

“Phil… why’d you write this? It’s from 2010? We had just met. You sappy bitch.”

Dan was smiling ear to ear, glad to have this dork as his boyfriend.

“I’m not sure. I found it while sorting papers. My guess is that I wrote it because I love you. And I always wanted to keep you… I’m so glad I have you. I love you.”

His voice was softer now, close to a whisper.

“I love you too, you weirdo.”

Dan looked over and placed a soft kiss on Phil’s lips. He still got butterflies when they kissed. Or when they were being sappy like this. It was pathetic really, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

The heat of Dan’s lips on Phil’s made him melt inside. They fit perfectly together, almost like they were made for each other. They had found their other half. Something rare in the least. They both felt extremely lucky to have one another. It was surreal half of the time. 

Dan pulled away from Phil, but only so he could move his laptop out of the way. He quickly reattached his lips to Phil’s pulling him closer and smiling into the sweet kiss. He didn’t want it to be any more than that. Something sensual and sweet. Slow and sincere. It let the other boy know that his love could be portrayed in more than just words.

Phil moved his hand up into Dan’s hair, savoring the sweet taste of his lips. They always tasted like cherry chapstick, it was Dan’s favorite. Phil moved slowly, making sure this kiss wouldn’t get too heated. He knew what Dan wanted at the moment. And it was just love.

When he pulled away, Phil rested his forehead on Dan’s. Their eyes stayed shut as they breathed deeply, trying to catch their breath.

After a moment, Phil opened his eyes and moved his head away. Dan followed suit and watched as Phil leaned back into the couch, welcoming Dan into his arms.

“I love you.”

Phil held Dan close to his chest, watching his eyes flutter open and closed, obviously tired.

“I love you too, Dan. I always will.”

Dan hummed, leaning into Phil even more and smiling.

“I will never let you go.”

Phil whispered into Dan’s hair before giving him a soft kiss and watched as he fell asleep.


End file.
